I cockslap morals
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
