There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
