well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
