So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
