DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
