Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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