I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
