Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
