i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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