Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
