HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I checked into jail on foursquare
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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