i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize