obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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