An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
