I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
