i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
