it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
