you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
