Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
