WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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