the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
