Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
