anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
