dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He's on the porch naked. Help.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
