**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I did not marry a roomba.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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