guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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