hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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