My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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