You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
