I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
