you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
