porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
