Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
