Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
