nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
