All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
