he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
