You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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