Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
