Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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