The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
