Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
