Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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