If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
