If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
