she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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