he thought i was a dude.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
