I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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