Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
