yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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